What I know so far: Words for my younger and future self.

  1. No matter who you are or what happened to you you are worthy of healing. Never healing allows the pain to win. You are strong enough!
  2. Friends and moments come and go. Your worth is not determined by the number of people who consistently show up. Everyone is fighting their own battle.
  3. Sometimes you are the toxic one. Apologize when you realize it and listen to learn not to respond.
  4. One day someone you hoped would love you will say something about you that hurt to your core, remember they are fighting their own battles. Your worth is not determined by their feelings.
  5. You will go through the loneliest moments of your life, you will come close to making a permanent decision. Very few people will even notice. DON’T do it! You are worthy of living.
  6. What happened to you was real, not everyone needs to know every detail for it to have happened. You’re story will help someone else survive.
  7. Be kind and truly live a Christ like life. I know you use to believe it was only found in the walls of a church, but people are human and will fail you. They will hurt others. If you follow Christ and truly love and live as he did you’ll see you can find him anywhere.
  8. You’re going to lose your hero long before you ever imagined. You’re going to hate yourself for not spending enough time with him. You’re going to care for him in his last moments and because of the amazing nurse you are you’re going to give him meds that will help him rest. YOU DID NOT HURT HIM, you allowed him to be surrounded by all the people who love him and he was safe and comfortable. Breathe, life will never be the same and you will long for the presence of a Dad more than you ever have. You will get through this.
  9. Therapy is hard, EMDR therapy is even fucking harder! You are healing!!! Believe it or not people can touch your upper arms again. You’re starting to believe you can sleep with some light in the room it doesn’t have to be completely dark for you to hide. You are strong, you might feel like you’re going to break even as you write this, but you are going to keep going! You are HEALING!!
  10. This one is hard, but I think you need to hear it anyway. YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!!! LET LOVE IN!!! Ya I know you’re not going to listen right away because you’re still to scared and you figure as long as you love others you’re good, but you are missing out!!! Get your joy back! Don’t let the trauma steal it.
  11. Don’t give up on your blog! You have people from all over the world reading it and reaching out. I know that started to scare you and you backed away because of the attention, but people need to hear and be heard!
  12. You are raising AMAZING children! They are absolutely incredible humans. Remember God is always their lead and sometimes you have to take a step back, you’re not their God 💙 Trust him, he will care for them like he does you.💙
  13. You’re isolation is comfortable and I know all you want is for a group of people to show up and save you from it, but this isn’t the movies. You have to save yourself again, not just for you, but for every part of you. ESPECIALLY for little Jessica.
  14. You are going to meet the most amazing humans who are part of your healing. Trust these three women. Don’t hold back or be embarrassed.
  15. This one is going to hurt but someone else may need to hear it and you need to remember it! YES!!! You did just lay there when it happened, you were a CHILD! You did not do anything wrong. It’s a chemical response caused by the autonomic nervous system. You kept them safe and you will survive those memories. Breathe!
  16. You can be grateful and frustrated for many things. You should have never experienced them, but guess what you’re finally healing.
  17. You keep wanting to give up because so many people can’t understand why in the world you want to “talk” about things that were so long ago… just move on right? WRONG! You know these things continue for generations because of that mentality! KEEP HEALING! It is hard, but you’ve already seen how much it is worth it and you’re not even done!
  18. People like you, some people even love you. People read your post even if they don’t comment. It’s not about you, don’t make it. 💙
  19. You’re going to spend what seems like a life time hidden and stuck once you start to come out of survival mode. ITS OK, you’re not lazy no matter what anyone says. You will wake up one day realize your body needed that.
  20. Boundaries are sooo important and they are not meant to be hateful. You’re not building a wall, you’re just putting a bridge over the moat to the beautiful castle you are 💙 If people can’t cross it respectfully they don’t need to experience the beauty.
  21. You have a husband who adores you. I know right now it’s hard to believe anyone can love you except your kiddos, but you are loved and I can’t wait until you realize it.
  22. You didn’t become a pediatrician, but you are a Nurse Practitioner and you love caring for humans! Keep being you even through the chaos, your light is needed!
  23. Last and most certainly not least remember this symbol and put it everywhere. ; you are worthy of the pause

Published by Jlyn

I am a 35 year old constantly learning and always growing daughter of a King.

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